Teaching Children That Life Won’t Always Be Fair

Learning About Fairness Makes Life Easier

Children Can Learn That Life Is Not Fair - gracey

Children Can Learn That Life Is Not Fair – gracey

Young people who have been raised in a reasonably fair and loving environment may find themselves totally unprepared for the “dice effect” of real life.

Children who have mostly experienced fairness can internalize a habit of thinking that, since the arena in which they were raised was fair, thus life will always be fair.

Passing on the Truth About Fairness to Children

Whatever the age of the children, there are things to do to help one’s beloved offspring see that life does not come equipped with fairness or kindness. Children need to be taught from the onset that these ingredients are put in by people who care, and that they are not entitled to it.  We can all work to make this a more fair world, but there are things that happen like cancer that just aren’t fair.

One vital lesson for children is to actively pursue taking a role as a participant rather than an observer of everyday decisions involving caring and fairness. For example, if the events surrounding a child’s life are too well orchestrated, how are they to know the fairness in their lives came from human effort and choice? Children need to know that life doesn’t automatically entitle one to fairness.

Teaching Children to Take a Proactive Role in Their Lives

People who grow up with a poor perception of their role in life often assume a “victim role” about their own lives. Far better it would be to foster an assertive realism in order to show them that they can be the captain of their own ship of life.

Knowing one can make a difference in one’s own life provides a powerful basis for hopes, plans, and taking an active and effective participant role on the stage of life. This attitude can redirect a child from feeling entitled to being committed to “owning” his or her life. Children who have been involved proactively in their own lives have a better chance of understanding that life is not fair since they have enough life experiences to give them a better understanding of how things work.

Adults Modeling the Concept That Life isn’t Always Fair

It is quite acceptable for parents and other adults to be honest with children about the mixture of life’s events including both what is worked for and what just happens. This can help them grasp the concept that although life will not always be fair, people can work to make a difference yet accept what they can’t change.

Adults may accidentally be running the risk of taking loved ones down that rosy road of believing that working hard in school and keeping their room neat is enough to make it in life. Children need to be told that life will not always be fair and that hard times may come to anyone.

Redirecting a Child’s Energies From Griping About Fairness to Creating a Fair World

Instead of wasting too much time grieving the lack of fairness, children can then learn that problem-solving and planning can help in taking control of one’s own life although there will be some times when life is not controllable.

Children need to be taught that life isn’t fair. This is far better done within a loving family than later on the stage of the future. Caring adults can pass on the truth about fairness, teach children to take a proactive role in their lives, model the concept that life will not always be fair, and redirect their energies from complaining about fairness to putting their efforts into making their world more fair.

When children grasp the idea that life doesn’t come with automatic fairness, they may then understand why they need to do their part to make the world more fair. The surprise bonus is that people who aren’t always in frustration about life not being fair have more time and energy to enjoy and embrace all that is good about life.

Copyright Hildra Tague.
First published in part at Suite101.com.
Contact the author to obtain permission for republication.


About grantutor

Career educator in both public and private schools. Has tutored all ages. Writes about education, parenting, & seniors. Sings harmony with folk/rock group and a choir. Caregiver for spouse who dealt with Stage IV cancer. Happy person committed to nature and conservation of a green world.
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One Response to Teaching Children That Life Won’t Always Be Fair

  1. Pingback: Honeysuckle Air: My Teddy Bear is on Fire! | Hildra Tague's Celebrations of Learning Blog

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