This is the “Be With the Pain” stage of grief. Depression — The Pits: You don’t want to wallow but you suffer deeply as you try to brush yourself off and look for a way out. . .
Why? Why live or die?
I know I need positive but I can’t find anything festive in this time of year. . .
Not even can recreation be restive to qualm my fear:
That I might ought to take charge over my future (no matter what that means?)
And not let myself be hurt anymore.
Divorce, get a horse, use legal force?
(I won’t argue any more; it hurts too much.)
All I really want is caring.
Without it life’s hardly worth bearing.
He says he never means it.
I ask what he recommends I do when he says something he doesn’t mean to me.
How am I go know? How is the pain to go?
Down we all slowly go (or have we been there all along?)
On and on goes the dirge, and the silent sad song.
Note: One must remember that grief stages are to be gone THROUGH, not get stuck in. Things usually get better, and the next stage, acceptance, will eventually show up around the corner:-)
Copyright by Hildra Tague. Obtain permission of author for use online or in print.