Each of us have either benefitted directly, or know someone who has, from the huge menu of medications available to us. Yet I just can’t help over-reacting a bit when I hear the overly-sunshiny commercials. Please take this only in a spirit of humor–I understand it’s a complicated issue. I just wonder a bit about the ads. . .
You, yes you, could be smiling and loving your life like these well-paid actors. You would become charmingly athletic, fetchingly good looking with the happy glow of the good life.
You could be quite a head-turner, hopefully for your beauty and not for the little red blisters. (That’s just a side effect which may go away in time, or not.)
Yup, you may be among the ones who are actually helped by this biologic or whatever prescription your doctor gives you. By the way, even your dog will see the difference and love you more.
This is the only medication currently approved for your ailment. Sure, you could try nutrition, sleep, elevating your legs, or other “home remedies” which do not generate a profit for our company, but that’s so old fashioned. You don’t want your friends to think you are cheap. So we suggest you let the professionals (uh, profiteers) choose your “approved” treatment.
Side Effects Belong in Small Print
Side effects may include nausea (at times even uncontrollable projectile vomiting), diarrhea, mild skin rash, temperature, headaches, and others which may go away with treatment. Oh, and some will be worse than the original complaint, but what the heck. We’re a profit making business (smirk) and we have other meds for those extra symptoms and even treatments for the side effects they cause. The real point is, your ordinal symptoms will get better.
(talking fast) Some have even
* been hospitalized
* had lymphoma or other cancers
* backaches, headaches, or generalized body aches
* suddenly felt the need for suicide or other violent thoughts.
And some have even had a fatal event. But as you can see from these pictures on your TV, it’s all worth it to have more friends and get more love from your puppy.
Oh heck, go now and get a 90-day supply of this prescription so our company, no matter what happens to you, can survive to develop more and more meds, cause when the date for them to go generic comes, our profit goes down, so we have to keep developing more new drugs. So by taking these fascinating risks, you are actually helping others, growing the job market, and being a good citizen who looks swell when the breeze blows while the camera clicks.
So don’t forget to talk to your doctor about getting this medicine. It could change your life, for better or for worse. We’ll make our profit either way.
Copyright 2015 by Hildra Tague. Obtain permission for use online or in print.