I’d call this recollection tongue in cheek–but there was a lot more than a mere tongue in my cheek yesterday. . .
She said, “Don’t close your mouth!” I wondered, how long, forever, or would she tell me when I could close it???!
Things were poking out of me. I resigned myself to associating with all that strange stuff for the duration.
When she came back, metal clicked, liquid swished, and my lips got rearranged and enlarged. Whose lips were they anyway?
Right when I decided to do the only thing I could do breathe. I felt dozens of fingers in my now-cavernous mouth. Some were pushing on lips and some were wielding metal gadgets.
I almost got used to it. It wasn’t so bad till I thought I felt not only a fist but a foot threshing around in there. I just wished she’d take off those boots. . .
After a year or so, it was time for another X-ray. Root canals like to have their picture taken. My mouth wasn’t big enough for the X-ray thingamajig! The dentist finally rescued me by doing it another way after several bouts of gagging.
I can’t even seem to remember why I’m putting myself through this misadventure of allowing someone to torture me, then paying big dollars for it. Oh, that’s right, to chew food. I think I’d rather not eat ever again!
There must be better ways to usher in the New Year! First, an eye procedure, then 2 hours in the dentist chair. But that was just “prep” for the hilarious yet hellacious harangue of today.
I vowed to relax during this root canal. I’m not sure when I started pawing my tummy. I self-corrected and told my fingers to behave. Before long I found myself holding hands with myself! I squeezed two fingers till they were about to say ouch!
Just when I was remembering to breathe, the dentist asked me how I was doing. Being unable to tell her I was choking, uncomfortable, and generally feeling harangued, I gave a feeble thumbs up. (God knows I wanted her to finish so I wouldn’t have to come back for a replay, arggh!)
Next week I go back to see if it was successful. But for now, I’m planning other activities for my cheek: soft food, soft pillow, maybe even a kiss.
Copyright by Hildra Tague. Obtain permission from author for use online or in print.