Of These My Children: Divine Revolution

My life as a teacher has been blessed with my students over many years. They show me kindness, healing and nurturing and sometimes even some new words.

Mondays bring reports of their family’s weekend activities. One gal said, “Our church believes in Diving Revolution. My mom told me.”  It’s like getting inspired from God. A boy added, “Guess it’s like the Revolutionary War. They were inspired to start our country.”  Dear Lord, I need some of that Divine Revelation to handle this vocabulary emergency. And you thought teaching was easy, eh?

The class was enjoying our reading unit where they were learning about history, places, and unusual words. One little scholar read aloud, “in 1870 Butterball was an important meat on the plains.” Thank goodness I had a piece of buffalo hide to show them as I changed the conversation to “where the buffalo roam.” Must be time to learn Home on the Range!

Another reading assignment was about dinosaurs and was, in the words of my student, “in the Prehistoric Period called the Ass Age.”  My students had always claimed I was “rated G” so I blocked my ears and quickly cooled things off with explanation of the word Ice. 

In History class the children were fascinated by Stone Age, the place where there were statues which helped them study the sun. When I declared it was actually Stonehenge, a couple of them argued with me since they were certain they had heard of the Stone Age. What a tangled web we weave when at first we practice to teach!

Something we read reminded a guy of a movie he and his uncle saw recently. He declared it was “something about poultry.”  When I inquired further he said, “Poultry Geist, or maybe it was Poultry heist.” That took more than a few minutes to sort that out, ending in my having to explain poltergeist.

At lunch I was told by a little scholar, “My dad and mom were talking. He asked her if she wanted to see his female!” I thought that sounded inappropriate. I didn’t know what to do! The next few moments were filled with a discussion of words that sound alike. When the kiddoes went home I sent the mom an email so she’d know what her loving child was thinking.

Children sometimes attend meetings with their parents which are aimed at adults. One boy explained that he went with his parents and at the end someone stood up and said, “Thanks for preventing this event.” This fine young man said it just didn’t make any sense. He was so relieved when I explained it meant presenting this event!

That day’s lunch was topped off with a gal telling us all about her neighbor: “She’s a persecuting attorney so she can really be tough.  It broke my heart to tell her all about prosecuting but at least she went home feeling a little safer, since the lawyer only persecuted bad guys!

Afternoons can seem long even though they are short by the clock. One gal was just wearing out when she told me, “I’m getting infused.” I didn’t see any drug or medical apparatus around, so I decided it was time to break a bit early for recess before anyone else got confused!

Math class lends itself to finding answers, but that’s not always as easy as it sounds. Our classroom math whiz opened his mouth even before his hand shot up with, “Do we get to start with that Metal Math Warmup again today?” I took a glance around and only saw wooden desks so I told him when we warm up with numbers flying around in our brains, that was called Mental Math. I’m not sure he noticed but we went mental anyway.

Then we began a geometry lesson on symmetry.  I clarified the hanging from Japan on our wall didn’t have symmetry since onside wasn’t like the other.  A girl was dripping with concern as she bemoaned, “But where do their dead people sleep?!!!”  Suddenly it felt like time for Art and we made pictures showing symmetry. The students drew faces, trees, and even some letters of the alphabet. They had fun discovering our bodies are symmetrical!  Then I wrote cemetery on the board and everyone made a cemetery picture. We decided one was enough and we’d do more of that at Halloween, or Day of the Dead.

Thank goodness the bell rang and we could put this day to an end.  As I told the students bye for the day I sat down with a snack pining for some of that Divine Revolution!


Copyright 2019 by Hildra Tague. Obtain permission for use in print or online.












About grantutor

Career educator in both public and private schools. Has tutored all ages. Writes about education, parenting, & seniors. Sings harmony with folk/rock group and a choir. Caregiver for spouse who dealt with Stage IV cancer. Happy person committed to nature and conservation of a green world.
This entry was posted in Of These My Children: Infamous Sayings of Insidious Intellects – Humor and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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