Of These My Children: Kids Counting the Male Votes!

Sometimes an event reminds us adults that children are witnessing many of life’s dramas for the first time ever. We may not notice that kids can get the wrong ideas. Perhaps the key to helping them is to listen to what they say as they reflect on their daily lives. One misconception can lead to others, like a bad game of “knock down the dominoes.”

A couple of days after the election, my students in our small private school noticed that votes were still being counted. It was all over the news, with every color of the rainbow of ideas represented. That’s a lot for a kid to sort through.

A serious scholar was really feeling left out. “Why are they only interested in the male votes? No one even seems to care about the female votes!” Suddenly my lesson plans took a sharp veer into civics, current events, and yes, vocabulary. As I introduced the concept of homonyms, like male and mail, we learned a chant which I later heard at recess: “Homonyms: They sound alike, but they mean different things!” We even came up with a name for words like male and mail, HORRIBLE HUNGRY HOMONYMS.

In Science we had studied different forms of energy, like kinetic energy. One child’s brain must have still been tuned into Social Studies cause he asked, “Does all that kind of energy have to come from Connecticut?”

Halloween hadn’t completely left the minds of my class. In Geography the students were told to point to the coast line. One eager little lady exclaimed, “I didn’t know that! You mean ghosts have to line up just like kids in school?”

I never laugh AT my students, even during their worst moments since I realize we are making memories. Holidays are the most vital times to guard against too much sorrow, as such times tend to revive our most tender and wonderful memories as well as the sad and painful ones. For example I utilize Halloween to teach about handling fear. So my job is to help the students write a script of hope and pleasantness.

At Lunch the students get a break from the rigors of learning. But no such luck for me; my struggles are never laid down. The children know not to talk with their mouth full, but I had forgotten to teach them not to sing while eating. One kid was happily singing, “Somos El Barcode” while I tried to swallow without choking. Part of last week’s World Tour during Social Studies had involved learning a song from Mexico, “Somos El Barcos.”

Next a girl told me about her mom’s problem with vertigo. But what we had learned that day in math fouled her up royally. We had learned the words vertical and virtual. Now that got all mixed up with her mom’s vertigo and she asked me, “If vertical is up and down, then why does it make my mom dizzy?” Hmm, and I bet you thought teaching was easy…

Everyone loves our weekly library time since they can shop around for what they may be interested in, then share it with the class later. One boy was engrossed in a book on ancient architecture. He noted, “We should have had some of these gargles to decorate for our Halloween party. That would have been scary for sure!” Maybe next year I’ll find a gargoyle to add to the frightening atmosphere as well as expose the students to a bit of history when I plan the Fall Festival.

In Writing class the students made little autobiographical books, and they deserved a celebration when finished. So we had a signing ceremony where they could autograph their books to share with friends. One excited gal politely asked, “May I have your biography?” and I knew the lesson wasn’t over after all.

Another child had a book about “those Karaoke Indians.” She stood corrected by a classmate who thought it said “checkers Indians.” I quickly began teaching a little song about Cherokee Indians, adding they are now called Native Americans. I ignored it when a child wondered under his breath if they were like, uh, natives…

At the end of the day, a mom called me aside to share a bit of word humor from home. She was looking at a bill and murmured softly about her revolving balance. Her daughter scanned the paperwork and asked, “Mom, what does revolting balance mean?” This parent said she had to call on her inner teacher for this challenge!

An ambitious little guy was eager to go home and practice his drumming. He affirmed, “I want to be a drum payer when I grow up.” I decided to add Blends on the next day’s lesson plans. We could pray, play, but no one would need to pay~

The day was over and the kids were gone. As I snacked I felt grateful that we have both male and female votes in our great country of America.

Copyright 2020 by Hildra Tague. Obtain permission for use online or in print.

Of These My Children: A Pinky for Peace

In my classsroom, as in any classroom, sometimes children don’t get along. They may have learned from the example set by adults around them. Sometimes what they learned helped them, and sometimes it didn’t.

Since everyone in our class has a pinky finger on each hand, I’ve been known to extract pinky promises when setting goals, and especially about interpersonal issues. At times this may include a couple of options, When squabbles break out, students benefit from having a degree of power which comes with making a choice.

One day there were several arguments and the classroom air was feeling toxic. I had to act proactively, so I declared a “Pinky Meeting.” During that session everyone held up both pinkies to distract them from pursuing their disagreements. After all, it does take concentration to sit and hole both pinkies up, ha.

Firsts I did a pep talk, mentioning good traits of each one involved and the group as a whole. Then I declared our purpose was to learn things which would help them in real life. So dealing with situations like this is real life, and I needed their help in making success happen.

I also reminded them of our shared goals and rewards, and how it made them feel bad to argue so much. Then I put out my pinky, welcoming anyone to give a pinky promise to work toward what I called “My Pinky of Peace.” Usually after one brave student took me up on it others followed. Then the work began.

We finally made it to Science class. Before long someone asked, “Is antibiotic made out of ants?” School was back in session, ah.

Sometimes school subjects get all mashed together, just like smuched potatoes. We had been studying verbs in English class all week, so on Friday I asked what they knew about verbs. One young scholar was proud to say, “I know all about Lincoln verbs!” Maybe we’ll spend another week on verbs and learn to spell action verbs and linking verbs. And I could bring some Lincoln Logs to play with in free time.

We all love eating our lunch outside under the sweet gum trees, just beside the Chocolate Porch. Something flitted by toward a tree and we all looked at a bird picking on a squirrel. One gal volunteered, “Yesterday I saw a blue joy in our back yard.” I spoke about how bluejays can be aggressive also, but we all agreed they are simply enthralling.

A boy told us how much fun he had going camping with his family. His uncle lost his “futility knife but found it by the river.” I explained to the others what people use a utility knife for and some of them didn’t really want to watch fish being cleaned.

Math kinda makes things add up in my class. Learning math facts was usually a high spot of the day. I often lapsed into song, singing the 5’s or whatever facts we were working on to get the kids in the mood for math. That day a guy remarked, “Do you know you’re singing in country?” I wasn’t sure if that was good or bad in his eyes, but he thought I was singing it like a country song. With children around, one never lacks for critiques!

Most kids will tell you the hardest part of Math is subtraction. A little guy put it differently, “I just don’t get why girls are allowed to do this kind of hard math. Sir traction should be just for boys. That’s what Sir means!” I had to perk up and teach more than subtraction that day.

As the day wound down, I was just too tired to put forth my usual energy, so we ended with silent reading (STAR time means Students and Teachers are Reading). As I read, my mind calmed and I realized what a really good day we just had. My Pinky of Peace was a great help to all of us that fine day.

Copyright 2020 by Hildra Tague. Obtain permission for use online or in print.

Of These My Children: Braking for Butterflies

I’m one of the lucky people who can wake up each morning knowing I will be doing something I love all day long. I think of teaching as performance art, love in action, and messy construction-like work with the tools of my trade, especially words. Along the way I enjoy a few chuckles as I admire the spirit and efforts children put into their days.

The class was learning about Mexico and I brought out a wonderful National Geographic magazine showing the destination for migration of monarch butterflies. The children were astounded at the beauty and excitement of fall, and amazed that those fragile looking butterflies could fly that far.

We read about how thousands of monarchs were huddled on those trees the students marveled at the pictures showing them crowded around on and among the trees. One eager little gal remarked, “I bet the people who live around there need a bumper sticker saying I Brake for Butterflies, you know like the one I’ve seen about braking for squirrels.”

Kids don’t always catch on to what the instructions are. The Math lesson one day was about money. I told the students to be sure to use a dollar sign and decimal if the answer was more than a dollar. But if it’s money less than a dollar, use a cents sign. One guy belted out, “But what if it’s Tuesday?” I guess working with money on Monday wasn’t such a good idea after all.

The holidays offer so many opportunities for capturing the moment for learning. I like to use songs as a warmup for reading class to further refine their reading skills in an enjoyable manner. We were reading Tannenbaum from a carol book and a guy yelled out, “But why the heck would they use a cannon bomb around a Christmas tree?” I can assure you they don’t teach you about that in teacher school!

During recess a boy rushed to the nurse while crying loudly. When she asked him what had happened he told her that his friend hit him in the eye. The nurse was trying to calm him and get a look at the eye but the child was holding the eye so tightly she was having a hard time. She asked him what he was hit with and he moved his hand from his eye and screamed vehemently, “He hit me with a lizard!” At that point she was able to see that the eye wasn’t really hurt, but his pride was severely damaged.

Some words are used mainly in classrooms. At Language class a guy was not happy with what I said we’d be working on. He griped, “That again? I don’t like when we have to do Ox Butts!” While I was trying to recover I recalled ox tail soup, but that had nothing to do with our lesson today. Another student rescued me by pointing to the board where it said Opposites. I couldn’t help but wish the Speech Therapist hadn’t canceled his session today.

Before the class was over it was time for our word of the day, delight. I pronounced it, then spelled it, and asked if anyone knew what it meant. An astute young lady raised her hand and pointed up saying, “Everybody knows what that means, see de light.” I was not delighted but kept at it till everyone knew the difference between the light and delight.

That fiasco reminded me of the day we had a bonus word: outspoken. A student raised her hand and confidently declared, “Of course, it’s what we did last week, we went out spooken'” and something made me cough while I made a plan to explain that.

Once in a while some magic happens, bringing me more of a satisfied smile than a chuckle. One day a new student arrived and the nice guy who sat next to him was clueing him in on things to know about the class. In an effort to put the newbie at ease he pointed at me and told him, “She’s been school of the year twice!” I was actually teacher of the year twice, but I’ll take whatever compliments that come my way.

It was Friday, and I was happy to end the week by reading to the class just before they left. I clarified that the story was fiction since I just can’t resist sneaking a bit of curriculum in even when we are just having fun. A young scholar was perturbed as she said, “I thought that was a Science word. We just had it last week, you know, like rubbing, friction.” Well, before we could relax with the story I had to mention the sneaky R which was the difference between fiction and friction.

When the last child left I reached for my snack and sat by the window, enjoying the afternoon daylight. As I munched in the afterglow of a good day I realized that, although traffic may keep me from braking for butterflies, there is no doubt that on this day I was definitely blessed by butterflies:-)

Copyright 2020 by Hildra Tague. Obtain permission for use online or in print.

Of These My Children: The Chamber of Congress

Election years can muddle our brains with political terms. This is especially hard on children since these terms are mostly heard only in those years of campaigning. In my small private school I am privileged to watch students wade through all the noise of wild claims and even wilder vocabulary.

An astute young lady rushed into the classroom to say, “My mom is going to a Chamber of Congress meeting today so she wore her best suit. It’s at the mayor’s house so it’s important! Now I knew there was more than one chamber, or houses, of congress, but I didn’t realize one of them was at the mayor’s residence. Then when her mom picked her up after school, she said the Chamber of Commerce meeting went well.

Teachers have been known to accidentally use their own style of sign language. I pointed to three pictures on the wall, and asked the students which was correct. I said, “Is it this, this, or this?” One bright boy piped up with, “Well, this, of course.” I couldn’t say he was wrong…

A scholarly young man wanted to read aloud for the class, but somehow got all mixed up before I had him slow down. His response, “Sorry, my mouth tripped.” Sometimes there is no good response for a teacher but an accepting nod of the head.

One day we had a play for our Reading class. The kids were delighted. We rearranged the room in a semicircle patterning it after a picture of an amphitheater. When the rides came, a little guy jumped up to his mom and exclaimed, “We did a play today, and we did it in an anteater!” This parent was glad she had come into the class to get him since she needed an explanation from me to be sure we weren’t playing with ants and their predators!

We had a birthday celebration and I gave each student a glass of juice to go with the cake. When it was time to return to work I said, “Everyone give me your glasses.” They dutifully handed over the empty glasses while one little gal handed me her eyeglasses, wondering, “What are you going to do with our glasses?” I wondered if the day was ever going to be over.

Finally Cowpoke Day rolled around. The cowboys and cowgirls were dressed for the part, and we drew pictures of chuckwagons. One child showed up with a video of square dancing, so we turned it on. The narrator was explaining the costumes and dances when one kid spotted a garter. “Hey look, that one has a leg scarf on!” Some days I’m the one to learn stuff. That day I learned that I had a lot more teaching to do.

My lesson plan said we were going to study contractions, so I got started by writing Contractions on the board. An eager guy piped up with, “My uncle is one of those.” It took me a minute to realize his relative was in construction! Ah, so much to learn.

Language class can be a challenge to corral all the ideas exploding from students’ brains. An animal lover was excited to “show the class a picture of an izard.” I empower my students to express their ideas, so quickly another student corrected him by saying, “You mean gizzard.” Thank goodness for recess since we could find a lizard and point out that birds have gizzards. More to discuss in Science tomorrow.

When Backwards Day came along the kids were thrilled to do our daily schedule in reverse. And of course they loved wearing clothes backwards. It also gave me a chance to point out the logic of how garments are made. Naturally we did Opening Exercises at the end of that day. I guess singing My Country Tis of Thee at the end of the day meant the students were awake since one guy looked at the U.S. map and pointed out, “Where’s the T? It doesn’t look that way to me! Why do we sing My Country Tis a T?” I decided that was a teachable moment and took time to untangle his brain. The next day he caught himself and sang it right.

I always encourage children to set goals for themselves. At times I give them a 3 x 5 card and have them give themselves a check for good efforts they see in themselves. One little wild child called me over and whispered, “Can you tell I’m really making reprovements?” I assured him I was proud of how he was improving.

Visual motor tasks can be difficult for kids. I was gently reassuring a boy who was frustrated while trying to measure to the half inch in Math class. I reminded him that if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Another knowledgable lad blurted out, “Someone should have said that to the dinosaurs and we’d still have them.” We all got a good chuckle, and the first child was able to redirect his efforts without stress.

I always took a break right after the students leave so I’d have energy for my after school tutoring. My mind wandered through my day and I mused about putting on my best suit and going to a meeting of the local Chamber of Commerce:-)

Copyright 2020 by Hildra Tague. Obtain permission for use online or in print.

Of These My Children: The Fish Admiration Society

When students arrive at our small private school they know I’ll have their morning warmup work already laid out for them. But that doesn’t get in the way of doing what’s important to them at the time!

I don’t expect them to tackle their work immediately since their eyes are fixated on the aquarium. Somehow watching the fish softens the sound level and makes their greetings of new arrivals a bit muted as their attention is focused on the undulating drama in the fish tank.

After one parent joked that my first class was Fish Worship I felt the need to find a more acceptable name for the time as the class gathers together. So the morning ritual was dubbed The Fish Admiration Society.

While the class was slowly starting their work, a boy with a crooked grin marched up to me with his homework assignment saying, “Better late than ever.” How could I argue with that? I was still on my first cup of coffee.

Children love learning about the past. When our history lesson involved The Iron Horse one boy thought aloud, “They should have called it The Iron Donkey. It would have been more fun.” It took awhile for me to convince him that people only had horses for their transportation, and since this was used for travel, it resembled the job of a horse.

One excited young man brought in a project and told us all about Vasco de Game, the Portuguese sailor who was an early explorer. “He wrecked India by sailing around Africa.” Quickly cutting the focus to language details, I did a mini-lesson on the difference between wrecked and reached, pointing out how they both started with same sound, yet their was an ocean of difference between them!

It would be Lunch time soon, but first I had to deal with a case of when Wrong is on the Menu. A gal was fighting with her computer and seemed at an impasse. She asked me, “If I type 100 will it stop and give me that grade?” I hated to disappoint her but I had to stand in the truth. Kids have to learn that there are choices to make, and some have negative consequences from which they can’t always be protected or rescued.

The students are always grateful when lunch time shows up. As we sat down, a guy was eager to tell us, “My uncle is a plundering assistant.” I resisted the urge to ask if his uncle only got the second rate stuff, but instead dutifully discussed plumbing and plumbers till the word was firmly planted in his mind, and hopefully his mouth.

A little guy who was known to be a bit mischievous piped up with, “My uncle says I’m a Born Beastie.” For a moment I was baffled as to how to not play into negative labels while still letting him cling onto his identity of being a bit oppositional. Yet somehow I dove in, and mentioned some positive things I saw in him.

A girl just couldn’t wait to show me the CD she had brought to share with the class on Friday. She was sure I would like it since there were no bad words. (The kids call me the Rated G Teacher!) Then she explained, “See on the box, it says Virgin Music.” After my coughing fit I managed an approving smile.

I had promised the students they could have some Art time after lunch to finish their illustrations of the story they were reading, so they were quite willing to come in from the picnic tables. I walked around, making positive comments. As I passed one child’s work I said it was really artistic. Another student heard me and motioned me over saying, “How did he make it look autistic? What does that mean?” Well, now it was my turn to be creative…

As we were awaiting the cars for end of day pickup, we we’re playing a game. I put up three pictures, a bed, a book,, and a chair. Then I asked which one made your eyes close. An eager young scholar yelled out, “The book of course.” What is that saying about the best laid plans? I had been hoping for them to pick the bed. I prefer their eyes be open when reading a book!

After the last student left I went to get my after-school snack. Then I turned around and headed back to the classroom toward the aquarium, pleasantly muttering to myself what I often says to students as they enter, “Welcome to the Fish Admiration Society.”

Copyright 2020 by Hildra Tague. Obtain permission for use online or in print.

Of These My Children: Taking a Gate Walk

Students, just like adults, deserve a break now and then. Our small private school stands on a wooded acre graced by picnic tables, a pizza garden, and even a Chocolate Porch just a few feet from the play equipment. So sometimes when a child has been hard at work for a while, I reward them with a Gate Walk.

They lay their books down and happily stride toward the door where they can leisurely saunter toward the fence where the large gate is. On the way they might see birds, lizards, tree frogs and an array of plants to feast their eyes on. But many like Miss Popcorn Goat the best, who spends her time doing antics in Goatrun, Texas, Population One, which lies beyond the play yard. During their little jaunt I can see them, so I don’t worry about their safety. But they revel in the bit of freedom and renewal this bit of nature brings them.

When the fall comes, we also have a classroom-famous Take Walk as a special part of our Fall Festival, but that’s another story.

Schools have nice little boxes to fit knowledge into. They are called subjects. But sometimes two subjects can get a little too cozy with one another. One day it happened in Social Studies when we were learning about special events in different states: “My grandpa told me all about the World’s Ferret he went to when he was a kid.” For a moment I was confused as to whether we were in Science or Social Studies class. But then I decided it was Reading and Language trying to ferret out the difference between a fair and a small animal.

On a Friday the children enjoyed reading from a box of books marked Social Studies. It was a nice break from the usual curriculum. A young lady held up a book about the great southwest, saying, “The Pueblo Indians ground up their wheat to make their floor.” Another child corrected her, thinking she said ground weed, but we quickly moved on to learn how ground wheat can make flour, then bread.

Lunch is everyone’s favorite “subject” as they bask in nature while eating at the picnic tables or The Chocolate Porch where frogs hang out. A young man was wondering about something he saw on TV. A guy said, “He was confiscating for his shortcomings.” As I tried to set things straight, I imagine I was compensating for my frustrations!

The same day one budding scientist clarified that looking at rivers on a map is “kinda like looking at the vines on my great grandma’s arm.” For a second I thought she might share heritage with tree people but soon I explained the difference between vines and veins. For several days I would notice a child using a finger to trace their veins, and I knew the lesson had worked.

The day I brought a prism to class took a turn on the criminal side. A boy confessed, “My dad said his glasses have a prison in them.” I acted quickly to be sure he didn’t have to worry about prison guards showing up at his house.

In English class a boy had just finished his assignment, so he asked could he play his favorite computer game, “Grandma Rock.” I was glad to hear he had a high opinion of us grandmas, but I knew it was time to introduce the kids to a favorite video of mine called Grammar Rock. We sang the words every day till I was sure they all knew what grammar was.

Sometimes we learn about current events. There was a big bro-haha about inequality all over the news. One kid reported it to us, “They were all worked up about any quality. I just don’t get it.” Actually, I didn’t get it either.

In response to an assignment of writing an essay about how to pass a six weeks test, one eager young scholar claimed it was easy. “You just need to pay a tension.” And I always thought stress and tension worked against us. Who knew that paying attention would solve it all?

I rarely skip a class, but one day I just wasn’t up to Math so we stopped and sang some songs. I felt better then.

But Math wasn’t going to let me get off that easy. My first tutoring student needed help with his Geometry assignment on tessellations. As he was getting his books out of the backpack I asked him what he was learning about and he replied clearly, “Testosterone.”

When all the students were gone I had a snack and some fruit juice. Then I decided just what might help me get over such a challenging day. So I sauntered out and took a Gate Walk.

Copyright 2020 by Hildra Tague. Obtain permission for use online or in print.

Of These My Children: When Cows Whisper

When I leave my classroom at the end of the day I bask in the satisfaction that I uplifted some child’s day. My goal is to encourage children while teaching both information and thinking skills. But most of all, inspiration, motivation and humor must be a part of the mix.

In Social Studies, children learn about both history and current events. One week the news was full of a story about a guy who got caught in an “income tax invasion” case. After a bit of explaining about how everyone had to pay income tax, one guy blurted out, “Yeah, I know all about it. My dad always gets mad that time of year.”

Once we got a classroom understanding of income taxes it was time to tackle the invasion/evasion concepts. We needed to play a game where an army invaded the other side of the room. Then the next part of the game had one person trying to touch another kid while the target child dodged and evaded being caught. The kids caught on to evading real quickly since they’d played chase at recess many times.

Another day in Social Studies we were having Career Week. An ambitious boy’s voice rang out with, “I want to be a person who invests in crime, like my uncle.” I swallowed hard, then realized that would make him an investigator!

Science introduces us to neutral resources. We had to take a detour to Switzerland to discover the difference between neutral and natural, but we survived that. Then a gal read to us about tide pools. It mentioned abalone and mother of pearl. Before I could catch a breath a kid declared he was surprised “that bologna came from the ocean.” Before I could put out that fire, a gal remarked “Oh, that’s so sweet that pearls have mothers. I can’t wait to tell my mother.” You could have heard me sigh from down the street.

Sometimes Science can startle me. An astute young man read cleary, “Reptiles are cold-bloodied animals.” As I looked around I didn’t see any blood so I worked on his pronunciation of blooded and avoided the bloodied part.

When we learned about physical properties in Science, a budding scientist claimed to know “physical characters can be observed and measured.” I decided it was time to put Word Building into my plans, and include 5 syllable words like characteristics.

At lunch we all enjoy the great outdoors and picnic tables. One gal told me she and her mom were going to visit a neighbor in the hospital after school. Her folks had decided it was a good idea to show Christian cinnamon. Before I could explain the real word sentiment to her, she added, “I didn’t know eating cinnamon made you a better Christian. I’ll remember that.” And you thought teaching was easy, eh?

There are times when I learn things I really don’t want to know at lunch. A girl told me that her “sister writes in her diarrhea every night.” Before I finished choking I realized that writing in a diary was a nice habit.

The students weren’t eager to return to class when a young man reminded us, “I know we have a True or Farce test when we go in.” I guess that’s better than last year when we had a True or Floss test… We got right to our task while I made a note in the next day’s plan to add the word FARCE to our Vocabulary list.

Toward the end of the day we have a turn at silent reading while someone watches for the car rides. A boy was reading a Christmas book, and told me “the Baby Jesus was an infinite deity.” I commented that infant was a synonym of baby, hoping to make church a little clearer for him next week.

Computer literacy reaches most students at one time or another. A tutoring student said he needed help with “understanding his spreadsheet” and I was tempted to tell him to keep his shirt on but instead spread it out and began work. But he was not through twisting my brain when he declared, “I’m not too influential in typing numbers yet.”

Society doesn’t darken the doors of a church as often as they used to. In fact my mouth is still gaping from what a young lady told me the other day. She recalled a scene in a movie where “a guy died and then he had to go to church.” I found myself doing a list of why people go to church–and dying was only one of the reasons.

The day ended well when a student told us about how much fun they had on her vacation. She said every time they saw cows it looked like they were having a meeting, and her brother thought those cows were whispering. So from then on, every time someone saw a cow they would all whisper so they wouldn’t disturb the cows’ conversations.

As I had my after school snack I mused that the parents probably loved to pass a herd of cows since it quieted things down in the car each time.

Copyright 2020 by Hildra Tague. Obtain permission for use online or in print.

Of These My Children: Dancing to the Doorbell

A small private school doesn’t usually have a doorbell. However, since all students and their families know to use the side entrance, anyone coming to the front door might need some special attention. And since there was a 100 foot sidewalk as the only way to the building I always knew and could prepare for an unexpected caller. It could be a delivery or even someone inquiring about the school, to whom I could give a card with instructions of when to connect on the phone about an appointment.

We didn’t really need a doorbell due to the 100 foot sidewalk but since I try to keep the students interested by introducing unusual items and events. So I bought a programmable doorbell with a dozen well known songs available. That way I could choose a tune suitable to the season or classroom events. The first time a delivery man rang it, a boy stood up and jumped around. When asked what he was doing his answer was, “Dancing to the Doorbell.”

Right then I knew we had a winner. From then on when I changed the song over the weekend I would let one student ring the doorbell on Monday morning. I usually waited till the kids had earned a much-needed break. Then they could all dance to the catchy tune while I received the delivery. It fit right in with our custom of earning a “gate walk” when a student needed a quiet celebration of accomplishment, but that’s another story.

Reading class can be quite an adventure. This day’s story happened to be a celebration of Q words. When I asked the students what they might use to cover up with in the winter besides a blanket, one kid quickly answered with the first Q word that popped into his mind, “Queen.” While I was trying to find my voice, another child corrected him with “Quilt” and somehow the lesson continued. (I couldn’t help but wonder if he had a dog named Queen. I refused to let my thoughts wander beyond that.)

Lunch time presents a great time for sharing, especially right after the weekend when the kiddoes are full of those memories. I could tell this gal attended church when she said she was learning “The Ten Commendments.” I did think she should be commended on that feat, but had my hands full explaining the difference between commend and command!

A gal told us her mother had to go to the doctor for a “case of tooo much information” and for a moment there I thought my brain might be suffering from too much inflammation. But I rose to the occasion when I saw a boy across the table with a sore on his finger. At the risk of giving too much information I explained that usually a sore heals up nicely with time, but once in a while it might get worse, and then it might be inflammation. (I ignored when another eager kid mentioned pus.)

In Social Studies a boy was perplexed as to “why would the Sons of Library refuse to obey the laws.” Right then seemed a good time to say the pledge again just to let me emphasize the word liberty. So I wrote both words on the board and we made a sentence about going to the library to check books on liberty.

Remembering names can confuse even the finest scholar’s understanding of our country’s past. One astute young lady was thrilled to find that “Barbie Kennedy” was the brother of President John Fitzgerald Kennedy! When another student volunteered the President was called JFK it didn’t clear up the Barbie issue. Finally I had a chance to interject that his real name was Bobby, and the little gal’s face fell. I hated to disappoint so I made sure to include some famous women’s names in the lesson to boost her spirits.

In Math a gal was so excited, hoping we would “be using those Catholic numbers again.” I hated to disappoint her, but our unit on Roman Numerals was over, but I realized that she attended a Roman Catholic church. Bet the priest had no idea how much influence her time in church had!

Sometimes we take a short time to discuss a character trait. This time it was about having a good attitude. Before we got very far, a young cowboy piped up, “My uncle says it’s a good day if you haven’t been eaten yet.” I couldn’t argue with that but went on to welcome other examples of having a good attitude. But before long, that same eager guy yelled out again, “Yup, my uncle and I went camping, and he said it’s a good day when you haven’t had a sharp stick in the eye.” I decided it was time to move on to a new subject, lest we get too many more words of wisdom from this smart little guy, ha.

When cars began arriving to take the students home, one boy was giving a blow by blow description of events. He remarked, “Now she put the car in the gear to go for wood.” It took a bit of dancing to the doorbell to get him to accept the word was forward. We danced forward, then backward. I was so glad we didn’t have to put our right foot out since then someone would ask if that’s really what it’s all about! It was hard enough explaining that they already had enough firewood for the year.

As the wonderful students left for the day, I considered dancing to the doorbell but decided to have a snack and a rest first. Soon enough the doorbell would inspire another dance as the tutoring students began to arrive.

Copyright 2020 by Hildra Tague. Obtain permission for use online or in print.

Of These My Children: Ballet Parking

As a teacher I’m always amazed that it is in the process of repeated tripping that we master the skill of walking. Likewise, the process of misusing words helps us learn to communicate with ever-expanding vocabulary. So I learned from the kids I have taught over the years.

Students enter the classroom with their minds full of the busy morning at home. A young lady told me her sister was staying home. “She may have strip throat. She did’t even get dressed.” Then a boy complained, “My foot hurts. Can I take my shoes off so it can hurt better?” Having entered the medical arena of discussion another young scholar confirmed that today she was going to “get a subscription for my eye glasses.” The morning had just begun and I was wondering if I should have been the one to stay home!

In Social Studies one boy was proud to share that his mom had been “to Parents, France.” I’m sure his parents would be glad to know he’s learning about other countries.

Another day we learned about rivers in America and an astute young girl found “The Husband River” on the map. I wonder what river the wives use. Then when we were learning about water and farmlands, one kid wondered why did they “irrigate cops” so it was time to write cops and crops on the board and have a mini-lesson in phonics.

Lunchtime gives us a chance to take a break from school work. But I don’t get to take a break from teaching! A gal told me her mom was getting home from the hospital soon. “She had to have her cobblestones out.” For some reason I choked on my sandwich before launching into teacher mode about gall stones.

But this one made me have a hard time teaching after lunch. A small child explained how her “mom’s work had ballet parking” and she wanted to know if that meant all the people had to point their toes when they parked. And I bet you thought teaching was easy!

Two guys were talking cars. One was telling about his uncle’s car was stuck. “It couldn’t go for or back.” The next day we made word trees with small words which could hide inside of bigger words, like for and forward.

Math can be confusing even before the actual work starts. A kid called out anxiously during a test, saying, “I’m trying to do what you said and write the numbers upside down, but it’s really hard.” The instructions said to write them in columns up and down.

But another young scholar made my day when he got his test. He beamed, “I love this job.” He must have paid attention that morning when we discussed the importance of having a good attitude. .

As the students were leaving for the weekend, a girl had a big grin on her face as she shared, “My aunt’s gonna take me to see 101 Salvations tomorrow!” I was glad I had a picture handy of that dalmatians book to clear that up. Knowing she attended church, I left her soul to her Sunday School teacher:-) Now that the subject of movies had come up, another gal said she was planning to watch “Picky Longstocking” as her weekend treat.

A young man was delving into Pre-Algebra in after school tutoring liked to add a little drama to his math. He sang out “Now he subtracts with the greatest of ease, the daring young man who’s aiming to please.” Obviously he had spent time in my class and enjoyed all the rhyming ditties I sprinkled around during math class.

The next tutoring student was wrestling with his Geometry book and wanted to know the “difference between coronary and corollary.” For a moment I diverted away from math with a bit of a flutter in my heart.

As I relaxed with my after school snack I mused on what I might do for the weekend. I wondered if we could go out to eat at that great seafood place. They might even have ballet parking!

Copyright 2020 by Hildra Tague. Obtain permission to use online or in print.

Of These My Children: Kids Using Violent Crayons

It is such a joy to wake up each morning knowing I’ll have the honor of teaching for another day. I know when my eyes open that I’ll witness the magic of students learning new things while they develop character traits which will follow them throughout life.

On this particular day I had quite a start when a child entered the room saying, “Did you get my female? My mom said she sent it to you last night.” As I tried to control my facial expression I asked her to tell me about it. During her explanation I realized I needed to open my EMAIL before she finished.

I try to teach one character trait each week, emphasizing it all week long. The day before a kid had some bad luck during a relay race, and it presented a teachable moment. We all had fun reading from the board together: “If you’re doing your best and you still fail the test, just keep going. If you try once again your face just might grin, just keep going.” That day we learned a big word “perseverance” but the students wanted to say that little ditty again, calling it Just Keep Going. That was fine with me.

One lad asked me what tuition was. As I was explaining, he added that his mom told his brother to “trust your tuition.” My intuition helped me figure that one out.

At lunch I hear stories that would impress even the best screenwriter. A boy said his parents were talking about a guy who got mad and screamed at them when he passed them on the highway. His mom said it was Road Rage. He wondered if that was kinda like old age!? But that was not all. After a moment as I was clearing up the rage and age issue, he followed up with. “Is that what those big Danger signs means, Anger Danger?”

All that talk about driving made another guy think about how he and his uncle were heading into town and got stuck in Russia the other day. After a bit of discussion I realized it was rush hour!

Students enjoy sharing stories about their daily lives while they eat at the picnic tables. A girl was still mad at her mother for getting her to softball practice late since they had to pick up her sister at some silly group called Hooked on Phonics. She mused that you couldn’t really tell her sister was addicted! Hmmm.

In Social Studies we saw pictures of the Great Southwest. It reminded one astute little gal of her summer vacation. She assured us she found some “chicken-fried wood” and for some reason I choked on a chicken bone before I realized she meant petrified.

In Science we were color coding drawings of the human body, showing the circulatory system. Most of the children were using their red or blue crayons, but one young lady was more particular. She asked if we had any “violent crayons” and thank goodness another student immediately handed her a violet one. They both must live in a rough neighborhood.

Toward the end of the day one fine young scholar finished his work and excitedly told me he was ready, singing “Cluefinger” to the tune of the song Goldfinger. Guess he’d watched 007 with his dad recently. As he maneuvered on the computer I realized he was ready to play a game called Cluefinder.

An after-school tutoring student rushed in to say she needed to study for “tomorrow’s reefer test” and while I was choking I saw on her study sheet the word review. Whew, there are some moments I’m just not prepared for!

As I prepared to leave for the day I swallowed my last sip of tea and basked in the awareness that I didn’t live where kids knew what violent crayons were!

Copyright 2020 by Hildra Tague. Obtain permission for use online or in print.